Expectations, "shoulds" and goals....

I "should" on myself a lot. I'm constantly telling myself I should be doing this, I should be doing that, I should be better at this, I should do less of that, etc.

For example, I keep "shoulding" on myself that I should get a job. That's not a should, that's a goal! There's a big difference. Thinking I should get a job just leads to depression and procrastination and low self-worth. Making it a goal turns it into a positive. The truth is, it's a healthy goal and I am actively working towards that goal. I'm just now at a point were I can take care of my personal hygiene and actually shower and wear clean clothes each day, that's big progress! My next steps are to continue working on my negative inner dialog and expectations of myself. That is, by thinking in a more positive fashion I can avoid a lot of the anxiety I normally experience, and by setting realistic expectations on my recovery from the side effects of my medication, I can achieve the goal of getting a job at the right time, instead of shoulding myself and pushing myself into a situation that is unrealistic at this point in time.

There's other "shoulds", like life should be fair. Life isn't always fair! I need to learn to roll with the punches, and take each moment I have to find some joy, some good and do my best and accept that my best is my best even if it isn't perfect.