About HardAnxiety:
This is my online journal, a tool I can use to write about my progress through recovery. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type 2:Ultra-Radian Cycling and Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia and also Codependencey.
Below is the workbook I am curently using, it's a great workbook, and I
recommend getting the accompanying book, Facing Codependence, from the same
authors.
Want to cheer me up? You can buy me something off of my
My Amazon.com Wish List
.
What a shameless plug, eh?
“What If?” Thinking
“What If?” Thinking in relation to my disorder(s)
I spend a lot of time in the process of “What if?” thinking.
“The anxious patient gives himself a suggestion (“What if”) and then acts on it as if it were true. The behavioral technique of acting as if one had no fear stops the anxiety from spiraling, as the patient sees himself acting without fear. This technique may increase his self-confidence and further diminish his anxiety.”
This is different from my negative inner-dialog, the “voices” I often refer to. Basically, I imagine myself in a situation that would normally send me into a panic attack, and responding to it in a confident manner. Sometimes this can be similar to day-dreaming for me. It's very much like role-playing, except I do it alone.
An example would be I imagine myself talking to someone. In reality when I talk to people, the things I say are often driven by my fears and my codependency, preventing me from talking confidently. So I imagine myself, say, talking to someone about my disorder. I imagine explaining it in a way that the other person can easily understand. I imagine this conversation building a mutual understanding and respect for the other person and myself. I imagine that I am cool and natural and confident, without stuttering like I normally do. I imagine myself enthusiastic. I imagine myself standing upright, able to look the person in the face. My physiological and psychological response to this conversation is that I almost believe I am really having this great conversation, so my panic subsides a bit and I start to feel much better.
The downside, of course, is that I never actually had this conversation, and I often forget that.
I know that I am capable of having these good conversations,
in fact there are times when I have had these types of conversations
in the past, but they are rare, and my codependence and anxiety
disorders get in the way all too often.
The “What If” thinking is a behavioral component of my disorder(s), it's almost an avoidance behavior.
But the good side is, imagining these confident conversations
through time spills over into real life, and has gradually made
me more confident and open when I speak with people, with better
eye-to-face contact.
The trick is to balance the good of the “What if?” scenarios with my obsessive-compulsive thinking patterns, which can be very difficult.
