Sunday, March 23, 2003

More panic attacks...

My physical panic attacks are happening every day now, really bad dizziness, sweating, feelings of unreality, etc. I'm having a real difficult time with them. Each one feels like it's harder than the previous one, that I won't make it through it. It's very hard to focus, I'm having one right now, but I'm trying to push through it, and use the adrenaline to do something.

This is so difficult for me, unlike my psychological panic attacks, I feel I can't deal with them. My coping mechanisms aren't working. All I've been able to do is try to force myself to sleep through them. Breathing techniques only help for a moment or two.

I went for a bike ride today, and I think it's that physical activity that brought it on, it seems that any physical activity brings on a physical panic attack.

Right now, I just want to cry out to God and ask him to make it stop! I used to be able to ride my bike for miles and miles, and this time I couldn't. What's wrong with me? I know I'm not going crazy, and that this feeling will pass in time, but I can't stand the thought of having to go through this even one more time, I feel like I've already been pushed to the max.

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