I feel good

Just wanted to say I feel good right now. I realized some things about my not being able to drive - it'll save me money on gas, save me from liability issues and it will give me more inspiration to get over the dizziness and panic to actually go for longer walks.

I also just listened to the first tape in the "Attacking Anxiety" program put on by the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety. I haven't listened to these tapes in a long time, and it made me feel better, helped to realize that I'm not psychotic, I just have an emotional disorder, and that I can get through it.

It's like step one in Codependents Anonymous, where I admit that I am powerless over others and that my life has become unmanageable. Just being able to admit that releases a lot of anxiety.

I also again realized how perfectionistic I am, obsessing over things like this website, "Is my HTML code good enough? Do I have enough Content? Did I type that post just right?" Today I am giving myself some permission to be less perfectionistic. Perfectionism leads to so much of my anxiety, I don't want to do anything unless I can do it perfect. Releasing myself from that perfectionism is hard, so I'm doing it in baby steps. Allowing myself to be content with a good job and not fret over whether it was perfect or not. When I avoid things because I feel I can't do them perfectly, things just pile up on my to-do list and this leads to even more stress and anxiety.