Panic filled mornings...

Each morning lately I've woken up to serious panic attacks that last for hours. This morning, I fought the urge to stay in my room and went for a walk at 8am, but for the first time, the walk was very scary, I was frightened to be out of the house, my knuckles were white... I wasn't scared of anything specific, I was just terrified of everything, even though I was walking the same path I normally walked.

I came home and closed myself in my room until early afternoon, when I forced myself to go to my therapy session, which I almost canceled due to the severe panic I was feeling. But sometimes the best thing to do is to do the opposite of what the anxiety wants to do, so I left a little early, and forced myself to spend a few moments in the park across the street from the clinic, and then I ended up having a pretty good session with my therapist. In the next month, we are going to have an hour and a half long session trying out some relaxation techniques.

After I came home, I forced myself to relax in front of the TV with my cousin and take a shower, and I vowed that I wouldn't return to my room until it was time for bed. I'm glad I did, I now feel a lot better having stayed out of my shell successfully all afternoon and evening. Lately all I want to do is to hide in my shell, but I've got to break out of it and stay out as long as I can if I want to make any more progress.