In my therapy sessions, we're dealing a lot with my issues of trust in relationships, and how my issues with trust developed through my childhood and adult life. This site is mostly geared towards survivors of rape, but much of the content applies to the types of issues I have as well, even though I have never been raped.
I think this is great advice.
Trust is a hard thing to think about after an attack as a child or as an adult survivor of rape, abuse and or incest. Out of all of the struggles I have had to endure in my past I would have to say trusting was one of the hardest issues in my life that I have ever had to deal with and come to terms with on a more positive level. For me NOT Trusting was always my shield against the criminal minds. The best advice I can give to you is this, take your time. Trust does not come easy and it must be earned. Trust IS time. Do not trust every single person you come to meet but do not give up on trust in the same sense. It's tough to even talk about. There is a great fear behind trusting someone ever again and you will go through great tribulations and thoughts regarding your need to trust others.
Be a good judge of character for one. Be faithful in yourself. First assumptions are always the best. Sometimes we can meet someone and it feels like we have known that person our whole lives, but if there is doubt in a person it is usually more than often your heart telling you to watch out.
The first thing you should try to do is gain the trust of only those who are close to you first. It is not very good to go out and try meeting new people to trust before you have even gained the trust and started to trust your family and close friends. Start with them, heal with them, ask for their support and their patience before going out and trying to put your heart in other people's hands. Good friends come around all the time but the closest ones do not so be wary of who you and who you do not know. And above all please get to know the people you want to be close to. Know how they move, get to know a little or a lot about their past, try to communicate and connect with them in public areas around other friends.
Once again give yourself the time. The best thing you can do is learn the meaning of time and patience. Patience in yourself and patience in others because not everyone is going to jump to your emotions. Your going to have to work around theirs. But you know, it's not that hard to do if you really do want to learn to trust again.
, from the same
authors.
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