Not much of a night out

I went to the open mic night at Border's, but I never came up with anything to use, so I just sat in the audience. The friends I had met last time I was there showed up as promised, we sat together for the first few performances, then they said they were going to move to a back seat because they were talking loud to each other and didn't want to disrupt the show. After that, I didn't see them again. I was hoping we'd get a chance to kick back and chat after the show, but so much for that.

As usual, the whole time I kept thinking of things I could perform, wishing I could go up there and perform... but I couldn't come up with any material, and I don't have a bass guitar any more, I sold that seven years or so ago to help pay for college, so I'm obviously way out of practice. I was frustrated by all this, but at least I was able to enjoy the performances. Heck, if nothing else it gave me a good reason to throw on some clean clothes and shave and stuff.

I hate this feeling of being inspired, inspired to perform, but having nothing to do with that inspiration. Sometimes I'll try writing something, but it just doesn't feel right. I feel inspired to express something, but it's like I'm unable to express that in a way that could be performed.

I wish I could just "let go" like so many people say I should.