Not much to say

Today's been one of those days where I've been really spaced-out. I've had this constant nervous feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something important, but I could never figure out what it was. This feeling happens to me any time I find myself with time on my hands. So, as usual when this feeling comes about, I start giving myself things to do, but whatever it is I give myself to do, as I'm doing it I get this strong feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something else instead. It drives me nuts, and a lot of times I end up just pacing in circles, because it's like part of me is saying do one thing, and another part is saying no, you're wasting time if you do that, or that's counter-productive, you should do something else or help someone do this or that and I just get caught in this circle with no way out and I end up pacing. I don't know how much of it is the anxiety and how much of it is from my childhood when it seemed like nothing I ever did was not good enough and whenever I was caught with time on my hands I was made to feel guilty for not being productive... I'm getting better at controlling the pacing, but it's like those nagging flashback things I've talked about, I wish it would just go away and leave me in peace, I could get a lot more done if my brain wasn't always telling me to do something else and keeping me stuck in some loop and feeling guilty the whole time.
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