Ugh, feel blah

I'm feeling pretty bad right now, my lungs are a mess, wheezing and coughing up phlegm, probably because I've been smoking too much. I've been smoking a lot since I've been up pretty much constantly for about two days. I finally got a couple hours of sleep, but still feel really tired and my lungs still hurt, so at the moment I'm convinced I'm going to the drugstore tomorrow to pick up some nicotine patches and quit smoking. I know this goes against the advice my doctors have been giving me, they've told me I should work out my anxiety and depression problems before trying to quit smoking, but right now I feel I should quit. Besides, I won't be able to smoke before each of my brain scans next week anyway. I don't know, maybe this is just me complaining and rambling late at night, but if I'm lucky I'll still be serious about it in the morning.

On another note, my therapist seems to be in favor of me diving back into music. He specifically told me to "put the therapist in me on vacation, there's only room for one therapist" and go with my dreams and goals and what's making me feel good. So I might be getting me an electric bass and amp and putting up a sign on the bulletin board at the local music stores after I get back from my scans.