My trip

I drove out to see my father and brother in Vegas this weekend. The drive was pretty tough, especially the one back, going through the pressure changes as I changed elevations wreaked havoc on me, I'm prone to pressure changes and get awful pains in my sinus cavities and headaches, my eyes start to water, plus I found myself pretty tired the whole trip so I had to stop a lot to take breaks to keep me awake and alert, but I made it home fine, although I've been in a high anxiety mode ever since.

I did have an enjoyable time in Vegas, saw the new Star Trek exhibit and enjoyed that and got a few souvenirs, then the next day (Sunday) I was going through mood swings and panic and ended up locking myself in the bathroom on the floor for a while trying to get over the anxiety and depersonalization, then used a bunch of comfort foods and positive self-talk to get me out of the bathroom so I could go rent a movie with my brother. On Saturday I went to a church service with my dad and brother, but I started having a panic attack so I went out to my dad's truck and took an extra Benzo and tried to relax, and by the time it kicked in the service was pretty much over.

I hate having such a hard time traveling. I used to be so good at it.

I'm having a lot of anxiety right now mostly because I feel I have a lot on my plate and my finances are gradually going into ruin. I've got my truck to fix, my computer to fix, a ton of books to read, need to get myself to exercise and eat better, etc. And fitting anything in between my mood swings is like a throw of the dice.