Is it really an anxiety disorder? More like a complex mish-mash

Hmm, I don't think I'll be able to go into a whole lot of detail here, just because it would turn into a book if I did... but in my years of therapy and looking at my problems from all kinds of different points of view, and the fact that all of the excellent work I've been doing as far as using coping skills and self-esteem boosting things and other cognitive and behavioral techniques, while my ability to function normally continues to gradually decrease, we're thinking there's a lot more to this picture, as my therapist put it, "You're an enigma".

It's not just fear that is overwhelming me, or depression, or anger, it's also the other emotions, of hope, excitement, etc... they all, when I experience them, are over-powering. My therapist and I think it has a lot to do with my hippocampus and amygdala not regulating my emotions properly, my psychiatrist is holding off on making a judgment on that until we have some kind of scans to back up such a theory. It's amazing I've made it this far without actually attempting suicide or turning to street drugs or alcohol, I've built up such a complex mish-mash of defense mechanisms to kind of keep myself in check, but sometimes those defense mechanisms, at times, do more harm then good.

I've also been looking into some studies that show how it is possible, due to genetics, that there are people like me who are overly resistant to anti-depressants due to a gene mutation that changes the number of receptors on neurons and things like that.

For me, this is kind of interesting to research about, but it also throws me into a deep depression, feeling hopeless, feeling shame and guilt, because I look forward and see how long it is going to take before I can expect any improvement, from my research it looks like the best we can hope for, for the foreseeable future, is to simply slow down the rate of degeneration, so I have to distract myself and try to just focus on the moment.