Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

I'm having a panic attack. Trembling, having trouble concentrating, scared, wanting to run to a safe place and be alone, you know the drill. I leave for the airport in two hours, my anxiety is going nuts, I'm having trouble concentrating. I'm worried about just sitting in the airport for hours, you've gotta hate all the long delays of sitting in the airport due to all the aftermath of 9/11. I'm also worried about my mom, she will be driving to the airport to pick me up when I get there, and she has a problem driving on the freeways and driving long distances alone, so I'm worried for her. I'm worried that I'm going to miss packing something, or that I'll have to go through some search at the airport.

Yep, this is all the negative, self-defeating anxious thoughts those of us with anxiety disorders obsess on and drive ourselves into panic.

So, I first have to put some logic into all these negative obsessions, replace them with positive self dialog. For example, it's not likely I'll be searched, the wait in the airport will give me time to sit with my laptop and update my journal. I've got a DVD movie I brought with me for the flight. I've got medicine to help me with the pain I experience during pressure changes, and while my mom may have trouble with driving to the airport, she'll make it just fine. And I'll arrive with a nice tan, so I can show off to all my family and friends who are still stuck in 50-60 degree temperatures, whereas in California we've been around a hundred degrees and I've been able to spend a lot of time at the pool and suntanning. I've flown probably close to a hundred times before, so I know what to expect, it's no big deal. The only pain is trying to find a place to go smoke, and having to go for four to five hours on the flight without a cigarette, but I can do it, I've done it before.

I've also got an interesting book that I can read called Synaptic Self: How Our Brains Become Who We Are that I may read on the flight. I've read the author's (Joseph Ledoux) previous book,
The EMOTIONAL BRAIN: THE MYSTERIOUS UNDERPINNINGS OF EMOTIONAL LIFE, which is a good read for those who have some background in psychology and the brain, and talks at some length primarily about one emotion, the emotion of fear, which is the emotion that science understands the most, and is most relevant to people like me with anxiety disorders.