Heavy metal rules!

I love heavy metal, the real loud, fast kind. Why? Because it's so loud and chaotic, it effectively drowns out all of the negative, depressing thoughts I have. It's kind of like the music that drives a sane man mad, can drive an insane man sane. Anyway, I brought this up because this morning, as usual, I had level 9 anxiety for more than several hours, and I finally decided to go for a walk while listening to my heavy metal MP3s at top volume. It was quite effective in that I was able to have a good walk through the park for almost two hours, and it kept the anxiety down for a little while thereafter, long enough to pay my bills, before my anxiety bounced back up to level 9 and I had to take a nap to escape the insanity of it. I can't wait to see my psychiatrist on Friday so we can try yet another change in medicine. I'm depressed that the Imipramine that I'm on isn't doing anything at all for me, when my cousin took it she said it made her higher than a kite.

I've been studying brain chemistry and neuroscience, and I've got an emerging theory as to why my medicines aren't working, but unfortunately it's not a theory I could prove without putting my own brain under a microscope. But in any case, I'm going to see if I can get my psychiatrist to order some brain scans. If nothing else, they'd be interesting to look at.