Up, down, Up down....

Well, my mood tanked this week, my anxiety went up and my depression got pretty deep, thinking what's the point in life again. Had a lot of running around driving people places this week too, which put more pressure on me and increased my anxiety, it's hard enough for me to drive just once in a while, and some of my family members are having moderately severe medical problems too.

So, I've been mostly withdrawing into my shell, not wanting to talk to anybody. I went to the clinic today. Looking at my finances, I was going to cut down on my appointments, but they gave me a big pep talk and told me I could schedule as many appointments as I need and just pay what I can. Finances are a big worry and source of guilt for me, but they made sure I felt welcomed there and not to worry about it. I was there to see my therapist, and while there I pulled my psychiatrist aside and told him I'd like to start lithium treatment, rather than wait until my next appointment with him in a week and a half, he agreed to see me for a couple minutes and get me the script to start on lithium and also the script for the one-week follow up blood test.

So, I'm feeling a little more optimistic and outgoing, which is good, since I was withdrawing to the point of suicidal thoughts. But who knows how things will be tomorrow? Hard to predict how I'll feel.

I talked for a while with the pharmacist, he said I should notice a significant difference in about 2 days after starting lithium, but from experience, I know not to get my hopes up.