Good day, then bad day

Well, first of all, hooray for me for having a great day Saturday. I was able to drive myself over a hundred miles to attend a computer game convention. I only had one panic attack on the way there because the directions I got on Yahoo were screwed up, and the first gas station I went to didn't have any maps and the guy at the counter couldn't give me much help other than to tell me I have to head east for half a dozen miles and hope to find a gas station where someone might be able to give me better directions...

But anyway I finally got their "fashionably late" and ended up having a great time, and the drive home was easy. I'm surprised I was even able to wake up in time to get there, and after I got home I got caught up on a couple things, then I was able to actually fall asleep at decent hour and sleep all night....

And then it started... the night mares waking me up, then trying to fall asleep and getting more nightmares, each time waking up in a panic attack, but with a feeling that I wasn't sure if I was still dreaming or not, and I spent the whole day having level nine panic attacks one right after the other. I was so scared that I had to shut off my phone because just the sound of the phone ringing would scare me to death.

Ugh, this really bothered me, I was so psyched because for the first time in many months I actually was able to travel a long distance and actually enjoy and participate in a social event, I was so proud of myself, and then the next day I was pounded with panic attacks so consistently and so intensely that all I could do was just hang on and hope that they would eventually wear off.

Well, that was yesterday. Today my panic level is still high, but not quite as high. I'm trying to force myself to get a few things done today.