Going back to previous dosage

I met with my psychiatrist today and we agreed to go back down to the original dosage of my Symbyax. I screwed up earlier on one of my posts and said that we doubled the Paxil portion, when it was really the Zyprexa portion that we increased, I went back and edited that post.

The side effects I was having with concentration and motor skills were bad enough that my aunt had to take away my car keys.

I've been eating like a starved pig lately, and I've started pacing again more often as well. Hopefully most of this will go away with the decrease in dosage.

I've also been sleeping like the dead. No alarm clock or phone ringing can wake me up, heck not even a full bladder can wake me up. So hopefully the drop in the dosage will bring my sleep into more of a balance.

Regular sleeping schedule!

Who would have thought it, but I've been on a more or less normal sleeping pattern for a week now. I think that's mostly because I switched taking my Symbyax from midnight to dinner time. I'm also a little more active now, although I've noticed that my speech is more slurred on this medicine, and I still get a little de-personalization and anxiety around people, the more tired I am the worse the de-personalization and panic are.

gaining weight again

I recently doubled the Zyprexa portion of my Symbyax, and I can already see my tummy sticking out further. I just threw out some old jeans that don't fit and have holes in them anyway; my aunt was kind enough to buy me some new ones. I hate going through all these medication changes, with the weight changes they sometimes make, it seems like I'm always needing new clothes.

I had dinner with my neighbor yesterday, and was kind of surprised to be panicky the whole time. I rushed through dinner, declined the offer to stay and watch a movie, and went straight home to watch a movie myself, although I had said I was going to go for a walk. I wanted to go for a walk, but I couldn't fight the panic attack to do it. So, instead, I threw in a DVD and turned it up loud, and when my aunt came home and told me to turn it down, I threw a minor hissy fit about it like a teenager. Had a lot of depression last night too.

But, at least I'm sleeping more normal hours now, my psychiatrist gave me some stronger sleeping pills but I haven't needed to use them yet. But I can't stop eating, eating like a pig since I've been on this medicine it seems like.

My psychiatrist re-diagnosed me as bi-polar depressed with panic attacks. I grabbed a copy of my medical records from them while I was there and I saw that they wrote down bi-polar as a possibility on my first visit.

I had a lot of stress mostly about finances the past week, the clinic keeps screwing up my billing, first telling me that I owe them hundreds of dollars and then turning around and saying that they owe me hundreds, then saying we're even, rinse, lather, repeat. What a mess. To keep things easier and cheaper, I'm going to cut my visits down to just seeing my psychiatrist once a month and not go to any more therapy sessions.

I did get up early today and went for a short walk, haven't done that in a long time.

Ugh

I feel like Ugh right now. I've been having sinus headaches lately, trouble sleeping. I'm having a hard time sitting through watching movies or reading books now, kind of like I when I was on Geodon. My depression is coming back a little bit too, got some circular negative thinking going on about finances and such. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow.

I think I'm bi-polar

As time goes on, I'm beginning to think that I have more of a bi-polar issue than just anxiety and depression. I don't know, label it whatever you want, it still makes it difficult to lead a normal life and be a productive member of society and enjoy the simple things.