I'm getting busier as I become more involved in my school work. I have such a lust for learning that I over do it and spend too much time on it. This applies to other aspects of my life as well. I obsess on things; but instead of obsessing on my depression, I'm obsessing on doing something else. It's an adjustment phase I'll have to go through; now that I'm not spending so much of my time lying in bed and avoiding things, I have to learn to take time to lie down. It's been kind of an abrupt night and day switch from being hardly busy at all to almost too busy. But, I have the desire to make this work. For now, I am just accepting that I obsess on things and not obsess on the obsessing.
The biggest worry for me at the current time is finances, I keep obsessing about them. I have way too much debt, and even with family helping out and my disability check, I'm struggling to pay my bills each month. And I still feel a lot of shame and guilt for having to borrow so much money from my family. Family and my therapist tell me I should just try and not worry about it, at least the guilt part. I'll try not to worry about it, and do my best to show my appreciation for what I've got.
I see that I was recently asked all the medications I've been on, I'm assuming just the psychotropics... well, here goes..(in no particular order, some of these have been in varying dosages and combinations)
Klonopin, Zoloft, Ativan, Gabitril, Seroquel, Symbyax, Zyprexa, Neurontin, Geodon, Lexapro, Xanax, Effexor XR, Wellbutrin SR, Lamictal, Lithium Carbonate, Paxil, Serzone, Risperdal, Celexa, Remeron, Imipramine, Strattera, Provigil, Adderall XR, . (yup, 24 different brands of drugs)
My current regimen includes Lithium Carbonate, Lamictal, Xanax, and Adderall XR. Was on Seroquel as well, but as of today we dropped that. I also take Omega-3, Vitamins C and E, and multi-vitamin supplements. Occasionally I'll try adding in DHEA, melatonin, lutien, iron or calcium supplements as well. I use protein shakes (although infrequently lately) to help keep my energy levels more consistent and (again less frequently lately) a "green drink"- a yucky tasting powder-drink made dozens of plants (green things hehe) that I mostly never heard of, to help detoxify my system from all these drugs.
Now that I'm getting some exercise bike riding and walking around campus a lot, I somehow need to start working on my eating habits. For too long I've been eating only one half way decent meal a day, and a few snacks. I already described what happened when I really slacked on the eating part.
More than a few people have suggested various alternate routes of therapy: variations of homeopathy, chiropractic therapy, meditation, special food diets, etcetera, to either replace or use in conjunction with my medications. Over the years I've tried some of each of these, either alone or in conjunction with my meds and regular therapy. I think they're all great tools, and have their time and place. Some of these I will probably integrate again at some point when I deem it appropriate.
Monday, October 18, 2004
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After reading through a good portion of your posts I found out your age but not what state or city you are from. So I can suggest a few things but as afar a s a good church... well, I need to know your city. So then, please accept my apolgies for recommending you join a youth group. I suggest you join and "adult" bible study group. Please don't join a church that is focused on their own man made doctrines! Join a church that is true to the word in the bible. And the only way to know if they are indeed true to the word, is to know the truth in the Word, yourself by knowing the bible inside and out! There is a way to use the bible for your postive redemption from all the crap in life! If you find people using the bible to damn you or to scare you then they are not for you! Please be careful, for as you know not all churches are good. Just as not all Psychologists are good. The only way to know how to use something is to master it yourself. And I see you are doing that with taking Psychology yourself. Well, I have done the same.... And I tell you. If you learn the bible and the true character of God. you will find a new way of handling your problems in life! Far better than any secular way of handling life. The secular world is only a mock of what the truth of Gods words teaches. God does not lie or trick or decieve! The but the spiritual forces (thoughts) against the postive truth do. We are to act on the forces of postive love not on the forces of anger and hate and unforgiveness or revenge. What good do those serve us? They don't. So then we are to act out all that is good and adhere to the postive side of all the negativity that comes against us. i.e., worry vs. trust/faith.
I must add another thing. In order to know the whole value of a these things that entail the componnents of faith and trust..... one must learn the true "value" of forgiveness. If we don't know how to forgive our past, then we will stumble in moving forward into the now and the future of things hoped for.
So then, there are a few steps one must take towards finding moment by moment peace and being worry free, momment by moment.
You must bear in mind....No one said the forces of the "negative" spirit will be unrelenting! But you can be guaranteed this! The forces of the "postive" spirit are unrelenting! and are vicorious only if you take hold of them instead of the negative ones. Take your pick. Which spirit would you like to allow to enter your mind to reside there for the duration it takes for them to fester to the point of manifestation? You do have control of those thoughts that enter into your mind. It's all a matter of knowing how to chase out the negative ones immediately, once you have discovered them! and replace them with the power of the the postive Word, of God. By focusing on the postive Word the scripture provides for us through Faith, Trust, Forgivness and Hope, we can move on in full confidence and assurance that God's Word will see us through any battle of the mind. And God's word is victorious over the negative. You just have to run to the Word of God instead of letting the word (thoughts) of the negative spirit take up residence in your mind.
In order to keep your home clean, you have to do some house cleaning.Get the point?
I hope I have helped in providing you with some tools that will far surpass any long drawn out secular way of handling problems in life.
Remember,
Trust
Faith
Hope
Forgiveness
They all work together.... hand in hand.
And they don't work if you don't include God as the one that is activating those tools to use for you in your life. There is no substitute for the TRUTH of the Word that God gave for us all to learn. Read the book and learn it well. It will then serve you well.
Blessings come to you through the use of the word.
I would be more than willing to help you learn this nonsecular way of handling problems. It works!
You can then call your Anxiety a thing of the past instead of focusing on the problems it gives you. You can foucs on the victory you have over it!
And victory is a blessing!
God bless you.
Well those comments were meant to help David, not some person that is offended by looking to Jesus as another means of help.
Those that are not open to alternative positive ways of dealing with difficult situatations in life find it offensive to be so open minded as to give it a try. They, ironically, are the one's that rile up tension in others and actually feed on creating tension in others. Anyone that finds a postive means of dealing with problems as being offensive has something wrong with them and they need to see that they are now proving to be the one's that are being "closed minded" to looking at all options to solving life's challenges.
How can anyone be so negative when someone is reaching out with postive suggestions?
And who are you to tell that person they are preaching? This isn't even your blog!
I feel sorry for you if you can't stand the comments made by a well intentioned person who finds Christianity a workable and helpful means of resolving problems, and not offensive.
Anyone that is in "real" need of obtaining any working solutions to some very difficult situations in life should never be closed minded to trying other options along side with the treatment they are currently recieving.
And any doctor that tells his patients that Christianity or any postitive religion is a negative means of support for their problems is misleading their clients and is probably threatened by it.
Christianity works for those that work it. Not for those that mock it or have a negative attitude against it.
There are far too many churches these days that are teaching the postive and are not using Christianity as a means of control but as a means that it was originally intended, as a means of finding working solutions and a place of rest for the weary feelings that come to attack us all.
A place of grace when there seems to be none in those tough times in life. We all have challenge in life. You have lacked this grace and have just place a negative comment where there should be support and not your hate towards a christian perspective. That person was just reaching out to help another person. Who are you to tell them they made too long of a comment and preached to David. Why should that bug you? This isn't even your blog.
David,
Joel Osteen isn't the only good resource out there. there are plenty but he keeps it simple and doesn't sound like a holy roller that this guy above makes this all out to be. Sorry if you are not pleased with this suggesstion. But Joel Osteen is a pasotr of a church that has over 30,000 mmembers. you would think he's doing something right! His Church is in Lakewood Texas. and His father started that church back in the 50's. It's grown tremendously. And Joel is on tv and radio everyday. I'm sure you have seen or heard of him one time or another.
I really hope you are open enough to listen to some of the audio files with titles that may interest you.
I really wish you well. Because I've been there. I know the pain and suffering of clinical depression. We can work through the challenges in life. But there is no guarantee of them never coming to us to present more challenge. That's the thing. Learning how to get through the tough times. And Joel Osteen is easy on the ear. He is not some eccentric holy roller that this person above is all out of wack about.
There's nothing wrong with writing to you. Some people just have a difficult time keeping it short. Sorry if that offends some of you. :-/
Here are a couple of good links:
On this first page , just scroll down to the adio files. There are some that can help you when you need some support.
Audio files to Joel OsteenAnd if you want to read here is another link.
Transcripts by Joel Osteen
People who don't want good advice....
Mock it!
Nothing wrong with good advice
if you put it to good use!
PEACE!
I'm very glad I found your blog even if it's old. I'm going thru an awful time and hope to get diagnosed soon for whatever in the world is wrong with me. It's effecting my personal and work life.
I look forward to reading thru this more later on.
Thank you for posting all of this.
Nice blog. I am also bipolar and have panic attacks. I know all about them. Good luck and take care. And if liked visit my blog. Nice to have you there.
Wow seems like you have quite the audience here. My blog is little and small and sometimes even boring. What an amazing blog you have. I was reading The Reign of Ellen at http://www.thereignofellen.blogspot.com/ and hopped over to find a blog she referred to called Finding Normal which seemed to be out of order and I just spent a long time reading your blog.
While the 7 meds I have tried pale to your 24 I noticed we share some of the same journies with our friends.Klonopin, Zoloft, Neurontin, Lexapro, Effexor XR, Wellbutrin SR, Serzone, Trazadone
I hope its ok to come back and read sometime. I would like to read more of your stories and perspective.
I really liked the article, and the very cool blog
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Hey mate, you can use EFT, it might help you alot. In Addition, try to read about the Subconcious Mind, to understand yourself. GOOD LUCK :)
Hi,
Healthline just launched a video campaign for bipolar disorder called "You've Got This" where bipolar patients can record a short video to give hope and inspiration to those recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
You can visit the homepage and check out videos from the campaign here: http://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/youve-got-this
We will be donating $10 for every submitted campaign to To Write Love On Her Arms, so the more exposure the campaign gets the more the videos we'll receive and the more Healthline can donate to research, support, and treatment programs for mental health disorders.
We would appreciate if you could help spread the word about this by sharing the You've Got This with friends and followers or include the campaign as a resource on your page: http://hardanxiety.blogspot.com/2004/10/now-that-im-busy-i-need-to-learn-to.html
Please let me know if this is possible and if you have any questions. And, if you know anyone that would be interested in submitting a video, please encourage them to do so.
Best,
Maggie Danhakl • Assistant Marketing Manager
p: 415-281-3124 f: 415-281-3199
Healthline • The Power of Intelligent Health
660 Third Street, San Francisco, CA 94107 www.healthline.com | @Healthline | @HealthlineCorp
About Us: corp.healthline.com
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