Happy Birthday to me!

It's My Birthday! So get with the program and click the link to my wish list in the lower left column and get me a B-Day present! hehehe...

Anyway, on to my journal entry. Past two days I've been non-stop-go. Totally immersed and involved in working out things with insurance, schoolwork, meetings with school advisors and setting up schedules. I've been half real excited about getting more involved in school and making sure I get appropriate credit for my previous college work, and half frustrated and moody dealing with insurance and the costs of medicine and finances in general.

I'm a perfectionist when I decide I want to do something, so what might take a person an hour to do I spend 12 hours on. Or something like that. I plan on spending most of my birthday trying to get my insurance straightened out and doing some of my homework, and try to swing by the DMV to update my driver's license.

I see my therapist Friday and I think I have a lot of topics I'd like to talk about. I think maybe this weekend I'll let myself chill out again before I burn myself out.

So... all this energy. How much do I attribute to the Adderal, and how much do I attribute to being stimulated by the university environment? Ah... I love nature vs. nurture debates, and this question falls into that realm. It's also why it's often difficult to know if meds are producing a significant difference by themselves or not. I don't think I'm having a placebo reaction to the Adderal, but I do think the university environment is creating a large stimulating effect in me. To go further on with this tangent, I look back to last week and I see that I was highly stimulated the day of class, then the next day and through to the next class session this week, I was tired and out of it and didn't do a whole lot. So, take away the stimulating environment (a nurture variable), and it appears that the Adderall isn't having much of an affect. I must note however, that in this example, I was still on my starter dosage. Over the next two weeks I'll observe whether I exhibit the same behavior.

Or... (hehe, this is the point where my therapist interjects and tells me to quit analyzing everything) is this a situationally induced mild manic state, falling into a blunted, slightly depressed mood state when the stimulus isn't present? I'm sorry, I have to keep analyzing things. I'm training to be a psychologist for Christ's sake. ;-) Don't worry, I don't plan on being a therapist, so you can relax and not worry about me analyzing you and charging you for it.