not a new doctor, please!

Well, I went to see my psychiatrist today, but instead of the same psychiatrist I've been seeing for a good year and a half, some new psychiatrist walks into the lobby and calls me back. Doesn't seem like much of a nice guy or very compassionate. First asks me the exact date, including what year it is. Then he asks me what meds I'm on. So, I'm a little miffed, here I am with a new doctor, when I've been working with my real psychiatrist on a long-term plan and we had planned on introducing a new drug this session.

When I tell this new guy I'm on 8mg of Xanax, he says that is too much, he refuses to have any of his patients on that much, and I must instantly lower my dosage to 4mg. I put the brakes on hard then. I've never heard anybody even vaguely suggest that a person should drop 4mg of Xanax in one day. Even lowering by 1mg a week is crazy. When I had to lower my Xanax for the purpose of getting brain scans before, we did one mg a week down to 6, then half a mg a week down to 4mg, where we stopped. Even tapering at that rate, the withdrawals gave me near psychotic episodes. He also flatly refused to put me on a stimulant, which was the plan that the Amen clinic and my real psychiatrist (as well as my therapist) were planning to do. And he wanted to jump from 100 to 200mg of Lamictal. A pretty high jump at once, especially since my moods seem stable, not sure why he would want to do that. He also said the reason my hands shake is because of the Xanax. He wouldn't listen to me when I said my hands have been shaky my whole life (they always called my klutz in school since I always dropped things), long, long before I started any kind of benzos.

Anyway, trying my best to be polite, I insisted that I see my real psychiatrist. Eventually this new doctor said he would try to see if my psychiatrist was available. While he did that, I went back to the front desk and asked why I was seeing this new guy when I was scheduled for my real doctor, and they said that my real doctor was trying to help out the new guy by giving him some new business.

When I finally got to see my real doctor, he mentioned that he kind of wanted to have this new guy give a fresh perspective on things. Well, this new guy sure doesn't act like a fresh thinker.

Anyway, before I complain more, I'm now on Provigil, which is a stimulant, but not an amphetamine like Ritalin or Adderal (Adderal was what we were originally planning on trying). I'll start my first dose in the morning. Provigil, from what I've read, is used more for people who have narcolepsy to wake them up, and in general to allow people to be awake and alert for longer periods of time. Not many side effects from the sounds of it, but it's still a fairly new drug. Hopefully it should be good for me, since I've been really groggy lately, even more so than normal.

We're also still increasing my dosage of Lamictal. Not really sure we have to do that, since my moods have been pretty stable.

In any case, my therapist and my real doctor have been gradually telling me I should think about cutting down on the Xanax. I told them I don't mind that, as long as we do it very, very slowly. In some of my correspondences with other people who have been on high dosages of Xanax, it's been suggested to go as slowly as one quarter miligram a month. Granted at that rate it would take me 32 months to get completely off of it. My other argument is that we'll need some anti-anxiety medication to take its place. And there aren't many anti-anxiety medications we haven't already tried without success.

So, I hope I can continue with my real psychiatrist and not this new guy.

Anyway, on to other things, I've got a stray cat living in my bedroom now, one of the strays we take care of outside the apartment, he got into a fight and got a nasty infection, so he's living in my room until he's done with his regimen of antibiotics. It's nice to have a cat, I miss the cats I used to have back home. It'll be tough putting him back outside to live.