Am I asleep?

I'm still having problems where I have really bad nightmares as I awake, and then I spend quite a few hours after that still stuck in this wierd "am I still asleep?" mode, during which the content of the nightmares is constantly replayed in my head, and even taking a cold shower doesn't knock me out of it, I just have to wait a few hours or more and try to get distracted into something and eventually over the hours I eventually forget about the nightmares. It's kind of like a post-traumatic stress reaction, sort of. But still, throughout the whole day, and it's been this way for months now, it's like most of me is still asleep, like a real groggy feeling. Doc says it's mostly due to the meds I'm on causing this kind of thing. I see him on Tuesday, I assume we're going to lower the dosages a minor amount again.

My meeting with SSI went really well, I took my aunt with me for back-up, since my concentration and memory are so shot I can't always keep on top of things, and the guy we met with was really nice and got some of the paperwork straightened out. The next thing I have to do is work on MediCAL for my medical benefits, the application to re-apply (I have to start from scratch since they denied me on my first go-around) is being sent to me, so I should be able to have all of the stuff I need submitted to them by the end of the month. And since I'm not going to bother to ask for retro-active benefits, and since Social Security has already "blessed" my disability, I should get my approval for Medical to go through in about a month or so. So, if I'm lucky, come December I should be able to start getting my brain scans (finally), but I'm not counting my chickens until they hatch.