Hard Anxiety, Gentle Cure

Link: Gentle & caring:
"Sometimes we just wish that all the disturbing thoughts will go away and die, but yet we still get agitated because they don’t seem to want to go away. The more we push them away, the more they come back. This sort of pushing and having an idea of a world without disturbing thoughts is a kind of attachment.
And so we solve this problem by acting like this: At the moment of the birth of each thought, bring your mind back to the soft, gentle chant: 'May I be well and happy. May my mind be calm and wise. May all beings be well and happy.' "

I did a search for hard anxiety on Google and found the above page, I think it's a good one-pager to read.

Last night I did go out for an hour and just browsed around a one of the major electronic stores, and that did seem to do the trick for getting rid of most of my anxiety, came home and ate dinner, took care of a couple around the house things, then got distracted watching TV and playing my favorite video game, then finally went to bed and got some decent sleep.

The anxiety of not knowing what to do

It's Sunday, and I don't know what to do. My sleeping patterns are, as usual, screwed up, and I'm groggy right now. I've been feeling anxiety all day, because I'm not sure what to do. Home alone, nothing on my to-do list, bored, with this feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something, maybe important, but not knowing what it is. And everything I think of to do to distract myself sounds boring, so then I go back and lie in bed.

I think I'll head to one of the big electronic stores or something and just browse around, for something to do; I kinda feel like I need to be around a crowd of people. Usually I avoid that kind of thing, but being at home in my "comfort zone" I'm feeling anxious, so I'll go do something that would otherwise make me anxious and see if that makes me feel any better.

I slept right through the time I was supposed to take my morning Xanax, so that means I skipped a dose, not really sure if that has anything to do with that, since that was eleven hours ago and I've taken my regular doses since then.

Anxiety T-Shirts

I was thinking about making some T-Shirts or stickers or whatever for us people with bad anxiety, with a humorous twist. I don't know.. maybe something list a twist on the "No Fear" bumper stickers and T-Shirts that were popular.

Send me an email by clicking on my name below if you have any ideas or thoughts on this, I could sell the shirts from this website real easy without any hassle for me, and I don't think they'd be too outrageously expensive, I know we're all poor so I'd set it up where I'm only making a few cents on the t-shirts or stickers or whatever.

Happy holidays

Well, happy holidays everyone. It's been stressful and will be for a few more days, it'll be tough for a day or two as I have to try and keep my aunt away from the place for a while so we can set up her surprise Christmas present. What really makes it tough is that since I still have problems sleeping normally, it makes it much harder to not be groggy, lack of proper sleep makes my anxiety more pronounced and thus harder to do things.

Thanks to everyone for the nice gifts I received today.

Hectic week

Man, this week is hectic. My cousin's in San Diego recovering from surgery, I'm having a lot of anxiety as I have to do a lot of running around taking my aunt to and from work and to my cousin's place to take care of her place and what not, with my anxiety it's getting harder for me to do much running around of errands even if they are close to home.

I've been trying to continue to relax and watch some movies to chill out in between times. My inability to keep a regular sleeping pattern is still causing problems, I usually have to get up to take my aunt to work just at the same time I'm crawling into bed exhausted, which makes it even harder to drive since I can hardly keep my eyes open.

People have been telling me more often that my pupils seem dilated, looking as if I'm stoned or something, probably from the meds I'm on, but when I look in the mirror and pass lights in front of me my pupils seem just fine to me... so, whatever, not sure what significance to attach to that. I'm up to 100mg a day of Lamictal, haven't really noticed anything different other than that my apetite seems to be returning to almost normal.

So, things have been hectic, worrying about my cousin and stuff, we weren't sure what hospital she was at and we weren't able to reach her for a few days so we were worried that there might be problems but it looks like everything's O.K., she'll just have to stay there for a week or so for follow up testing.

But, on the good side, it looks like the flu or whatever I had is gone, I got over it in two days, I think drinking a ton of that pink grapefruit juice did the trick.

It looks like there are still some problems with my emails, some are getting through and others are not, I'm still trying to work things out with my friend who runs my email service. So, if you email me and don't get a reply or you get an error message, just try again in a few days and hopefully we'll get it all straightened out.