I went and got my liver tested yesterday, gonna have to wait a while on the results. It's a good idea to always get your liver tested every so often when you are on a lot of different meds, our livers weren't designed to process medications, so sometimes taking lots of certain kinds of meds can lead to liver damage. I think mine is fine, I just got it tested to be on the safe side, and I picked up a prescription for my acid-reflux while I was at it, Prevacid really works wonders for me.
Aside from that, I'm going to see if I can schedule an appointment today to appeal my denial for medical benefits. Wish me luck!
Friday, September 19, 2003
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Got my blog added to About.com
Cathleen Hemming who runs the about.com section on Panic and Anxiety disorders, has added a link to my blog from that site. Thanks Cathleen!
Her site is a good source of information About Panic and Anxiety Disorders
Her site is a good source of information About Panic and Anxiety Disorders
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Moves and changes...
Over the next month I'll be moving from my cousin's house to live with my aunt on the other side of town. I had been anticipating this type of move for quite a while in the back of my head, and I was always afraid about it.. I was certain it would lead to panic attacks. But, thankfully, so far I've been reacting to it quite well. I'm hoping my aunt and I can get along well after start living together. I really didn't want to move again, this will be my 14th move in my thirty years.
I spoke with my therapist yesterday, and he suggested that perhaps the very high levels of Xanax I'm on could be contributing to my constant lack of energy, so when I see my psychiatrist in a couple weeks, I'll ask him about this and see what he thinks about lowering the dosage or frequency that I take it.
Later this month I'm going to try and attend a computer gaming convention, that's about a 2 hour drive from here. I don't feel I'm really up to driving that kind of distance, but as the time approaches I'll see what I can do, maybe I can get some people to join me so it won't be too difficult.
I've started taking that new drink supplement that's supposed to help with my levels of GSH. It doesn't seem to have any taste to it, which is good, it's called Immunocal I think, but I haven't noticed much change yet, but maybe that's just because I haven't been on it long enough... and I've also slightly increased the amount of the "green drink" stuff I'm taking... and, well, I guess the past couple days I do seem to have had a little bit more energy.
I spoke with my therapist yesterday, and he suggested that perhaps the very high levels of Xanax I'm on could be contributing to my constant lack of energy, so when I see my psychiatrist in a couple weeks, I'll ask him about this and see what he thinks about lowering the dosage or frequency that I take it.
Later this month I'm going to try and attend a computer gaming convention, that's about a 2 hour drive from here. I don't feel I'm really up to driving that kind of distance, but as the time approaches I'll see what I can do, maybe I can get some people to join me so it won't be too difficult.
I've started taking that new drink supplement that's supposed to help with my levels of GSH. It doesn't seem to have any taste to it, which is good, it's called Immunocal I think, but I haven't noticed much change yet, but maybe that's just because I haven't been on it long enough... and I've also slightly increased the amount of the "green drink" stuff I'm taking... and, well, I guess the past couple days I do seem to have had a little bit more energy.
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Labor day blues...
Well, the labor day party we had had a nice turnout, too bad the wall of panic attacks kept me in my room for 90% of the party. Towards the end of the afternoon, I remembered an old trick I could use when my anxiety and panic were so bad nothing I could do would weaken the anxiety.. .that trick was taking 1 or 2 pills of lorazepam in addition to my normal meds.
DON'T TRY THIS WITHOUT FIRST TALKING AT LENGTH WITH YOUR DOCTOR!!!!
I've talked about doing this kind of thing for years with my doctors. It goes something like this. Lorazepam is in the benzodiazepam class of anti- anxiety/depression drugs, it's a short-term use medicine that has potential for addiction.
My problem with benzodiazepams is that I grow immune to them very, very very fast. Like within days, and then after that no matter how much I increase the dosage, they don't help anymore. I'm currently taking Xanax at a high dosage four times a day, and basically this is just to prevent me from getting withdrawals. As for the lorazepam, I can only add that, at most, once a week, otherwise I grow immune to it as well. I try not to add the lorazepam more than once a month if I can, and actually prior to labor day I hadn't used it in three months and had totally forgot about it.
So, since it was impossible for me to enjoy the party and as I laid there all curled up in bed having a panic attack, something finally reminded me of it, so I took two pills of lorazepam and within 15 minutes half of the anxiety and half of the depression were gone.. a wonderful relief! But then to my dismay, as I came out of my room everyone was leaving... :( wish I had thought of that sooner.
So, looking forward to my birthday next month, I think I won't use this trick again until my birthday party, so that I can enjoy it.
Let me state once again that doing this kind of thing, I keep my doctors well informed of what I do, and I keep a journal of my use of medicines. I don't recommend anybody experimenting with their meds without first developing trust with your doctor and then letting them know what you would like to try, and if the trust is mutual they will probably work with you. Then you have to monitor yourself very closely to make sure you don't become addicted or have side effects. This is very important.
I also started taking valerian root yesterday and I ordered some supplements online that are supposed to increase my body's ability to produce GSH (Growth Stimulating Hormone) which the two of which my doctor recommended that should help with my sleep without any side effects. I'll let you know how it goes once I finally get the stuff in the mail, since no stores around here carry it. Adding these things to all the supplements I'm already taking is roughly equivalent to the EM Power+ thing I mentioned in an earlier post. When I was in my doctors office I had him pull up the info on that supplement and look at the ingredients, and he gave me the option that I could either try it or just simply add the missing ingredients I'm not already taking. Other than that, we didn't change any of my meds this time, and he didn't want to give me an actual prescription for real GSH, which is basically a pill of the actual hormone itself, because it is more expensive and has side effects to boot.
DON'T TRY THIS WITHOUT FIRST TALKING AT LENGTH WITH YOUR DOCTOR!!!!
I've talked about doing this kind of thing for years with my doctors. It goes something like this. Lorazepam is in the benzodiazepam class of anti- anxiety/depression drugs, it's a short-term use medicine that has potential for addiction.
My problem with benzodiazepams is that I grow immune to them very, very very fast. Like within days, and then after that no matter how much I increase the dosage, they don't help anymore. I'm currently taking Xanax at a high dosage four times a day, and basically this is just to prevent me from getting withdrawals. As for the lorazepam, I can only add that, at most, once a week, otherwise I grow immune to it as well. I try not to add the lorazepam more than once a month if I can, and actually prior to labor day I hadn't used it in three months and had totally forgot about it.
So, since it was impossible for me to enjoy the party and as I laid there all curled up in bed having a panic attack, something finally reminded me of it, so I took two pills of lorazepam and within 15 minutes half of the anxiety and half of the depression were gone.. a wonderful relief! But then to my dismay, as I came out of my room everyone was leaving... :( wish I had thought of that sooner.
So, looking forward to my birthday next month, I think I won't use this trick again until my birthday party, so that I can enjoy it.
Let me state once again that doing this kind of thing, I keep my doctors well informed of what I do, and I keep a journal of my use of medicines. I don't recommend anybody experimenting with their meds without first developing trust with your doctor and then letting them know what you would like to try, and if the trust is mutual they will probably work with you. Then you have to monitor yourself very closely to make sure you don't become addicted or have side effects. This is very important.
I also started taking valerian root yesterday and I ordered some supplements online that are supposed to increase my body's ability to produce GSH (Growth Stimulating Hormone) which the two of which my doctor recommended that should help with my sleep without any side effects. I'll let you know how it goes once I finally get the stuff in the mail, since no stores around here carry it. Adding these things to all the supplements I'm already taking is roughly equivalent to the EM Power+ thing I mentioned in an earlier post. When I was in my doctors office I had him pull up the info on that supplement and look at the ingredients, and he gave me the option that I could either try it or just simply add the missing ingredients I'm not already taking. Other than that, we didn't change any of my meds this time, and he didn't want to give me an actual prescription for real GSH, which is basically a pill of the actual hormone itself, because it is more expensive and has side effects to boot.
Monday, September 01, 2003
Just wanna have fun....
I'm really getting tired of things continuing to go downhill with my social anxiety... I'm getting to the point were I'd rather just be alone 24/7. I can't handle parties for more than five minutes before the panic attacks set in. I get bothered when people try to talk to me. Driving is getting harder as my concentration seems to be getting worse, and my memory too. Sucks too, because in about a month I turn thirty and I always wanted to have a big 3-0 party... part of me still does, but the truth is I wouldn't be able to handle it if I had one.
I'm also starting to have problems with thoughts that everyone is mad or disappointed in me in some way.... that's what I hate about my disorder, it's so contradictory... I have no reason to think this way, and I combat these thoughts with compassionate self dialog and relaxation and distraction, but no matter what I do, the thoughts and feelings remain. Catastrophic thoughts and issues of trust plague my dreams. And I still have absolutely no energy, despite my efforts to get out and walk and take all these vitamins and supplements that are supposed to help with my energy levels. Maybe the drugs have something to do with that, since Gabitril does cause drowsiness... but I've felt this way since before taking it...
I'm also starting to have problems with thoughts that everyone is mad or disappointed in me in some way.... that's what I hate about my disorder, it's so contradictory... I have no reason to think this way, and I combat these thoughts with compassionate self dialog and relaxation and distraction, but no matter what I do, the thoughts and feelings remain. Catastrophic thoughts and issues of trust plague my dreams. And I still have absolutely no energy, despite my efforts to get out and walk and take all these vitamins and supplements that are supposed to help with my energy levels. Maybe the drugs have something to do with that, since Gabitril does cause drowsiness... but I've felt this way since before taking it...
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